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television-overload · 6 months ago

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of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 33/34 - end call

[Read on AO3]

Mulder isn’t sure how long he's out for, but he knows it can’t have been more than an hour or two before something wakes him from his dreamless slumber. He blinks a few times at the striped pattern on the ceiling from the street lights shining through the blinds, and suddenly remembers where he is.

The sound he hears is the familiar cry of Madeline, just the beginnings of it, but he knows if it goes unanswered for much longer, she will be harder to console. He gets to his feet, running his hands over his tired face as he crosses from his room into the hall.

He only hesitates a second before pushing open the door to Scully’s room, peeking his head inside. She’s sitting up in bed, looking disoriented and adorable, clearly only having woken up a moment ago as well.

“Stay there,” he says quietly, accidentally startling her with his presence. “I can get her this time, hon.”

He’s not sure where that endearment came from, exactly, but he can blame it on the lack of sleep later if she asks. He makes his way over to the bassinet, peering over the edge at the baby inside.

“Diaper change,” he informs Scully, lifting Maddie out and taking her over to the changing table next to the dresser. By the time he gets her cleaned and changed, Scully is passed out again on her side, her hair fanning out over the pillow with a bit of drool escaping her lips. He chuckles softly, taking Maddie with him as he goes out to the kitchen to prepare some formula for her.

He returns and takes a seat in the rocking chair, moving Scully’s robe aside so he can sit down in it while he feeds the baby. As much as he usually dislikes being kept awake in the middle of the night, this isn’t so bad. Maybe in a few weeks he’ll be tired of it, but for now, it affords him the opportunity to see Scully in a way he doesn’t often get to. And getting to be a father? Just the cherry on top.

Maddie falls asleep again before she can finish the bottle, which means she’ll almost certainly be up in another hour or so wanting more. Resigned to this fact, Mulder lifts his elbow up and places a kiss on her sweet-smelling forehead. Maybe it’s too early to say, but this little creature can do no wrong in his eyes. Even if she keeps them up all night, he’ll never forget what it took to get here. This is what they’d wanted, him and Scully, and all the highs and lows that come with it.

Careful not to jostle her too much, he settles her back down in the bassinet and puts the cap back on the bottle. It’ll need to go in the fridge until the next feeding, probably. He walks over to the door, placing a hand on the door handle.

“Where are you going?” Scully slurs, her eyes half-lidded beneath furrowed eyebrows. She lifts herself onto her left elbow, a movement that—in her semi-conscious state—takes a lot more effort than usual.

Mulder holds up the half-filled bottle of formula and gives it a little shake. “Putting this away,” he answers in a hushed tone.

“Are you coming back?” she asks.

He stares at her, wondering if she’s even aware of what she’s saying, or if she’s just talking in her sleep.

“I was going to go back to bed, but I can if you want me to,” he answers; Then, after a pause, “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” she breathes, laying back down and adjusting the covers over her shoulders.

His heart pounds in his chest. “Okay,” he says, his voice strained. “I’ll be right back.”

This time when he returns, he opens the door with less hesitation, since theoretically, he has an invitation. He briefly wonders if she’d just wanted him to sit in here and talk or something, but the way she’s pulled back the covers for him clarifies her meaning pretty effectively.

The mattress dips below him as he takes his place on the right side of the bed. He’s not sure she’s even awake anymore, but he reminds himself that she asked for this. It’s not even that unusual these days to share a bed with her, and yet each time, he still feels as nervous as the last.

She hums in appreciation once he gets settled, rolling over to face him.

“I like having you here,” she says sleepily, wrapping her arms around his right arm.

‘What a coincidence,’ he thinks, ‘I like being here.’

It doesn’t matter if they get woken up every couple hours throughout the night—it’s one of the best night's sleep Mulder has ever had. For the first time, he has his family all under one roof. Never mind the roof—they’re all in one room.

When they wake in the morning, Scully’s head is resting on his shoulder, and his hand is tucked snugly around her waist.

He can’t imagine a better place to be.

-.-.-

She leaves Mulder with Maddie in the living room while she puts the laundry away, smiling to herself at the sight of the two of them playing together. Maybe playing is an exaggeration, but Mulder keeps making her kick her legs to the beat of whatever of his CDs is currently playing in the CD player, a game she seems rather indifferent toward.

She does seem to like being in the bouncy chair, though, even though she hasn’t quite figured out how to reach for the colorful toys dangling above it. It’s only a matter of time before she’ll be shoving anything and everything she can reach into her slobbery mouth, Scully reminds herself. There’s plenty to enjoy about these newborn days, and she vows to make the most of them.

As she’s finishing hanging up one of her work shirts in the closet, her cell phone rings on the nightstand where she’d left it the night before. She hooks the hanger onto the rod and sets the remaining pile of clothes on the bed before picking up the device and checking the caller I.D.

Bill, Jr.

Scully sighs and pushes the door to her bedroom closed, leaving only a small crack in case Mulder needs something. Only then does she feel ready for the conversation that is about to take place.

“Hi, Bill,” she says, feeling dread pool in the pit of her stomach. This was one of the consequences of not telling her family that she’d tried to forget about, initially, but now it had come back to bite her.

“Dana,” he says. “So, I talked to Mom on the phone yesterday.”

Scully sits down on the edge of her bed. It’s either that, or pace around in circles until she wears a hole into the carpet, and she’d really like to not have to replace the carpet in here another time.

“What did she tell you?” she asks, calculating just how upset she needs to be with her mother the next time she sees her.

“Nothing,” he answers. “She couldn’t talk, just said she was very busy and that I should call you.”

Scully suppresses a breath of relief.

“I was actually going to call you today,” she says, which is mostly true. Mulder had been asking her all morning when she’d get around to telling the rest of her family, and she’d promised it would be soon. She knew it was probably making him as anxious as she was. He’s the one who had worried about Bill since the beginning of all this.

“So, what is it?” her brother asks, clearly bracing for some kind of life altering news. “Cancer?” he guesses, muttering the word in hopes of it being wrong.

“No,” she’s quick to assure him. “No, it’s not that. It’s– um…”

How to go about this? She has a couple options here. Which part of the news should she break first?

“Spit it out, Danes,” he says, clearly growing impatient.

“I, um…”

Good news first, right? Well, not that any of it is bad news, from her perspective, but from Bill’s…

“I adopted a baby, Bill,” she says, keeping her voice quiet enough that Mulder won’t hear.

“You did what?” he asks, still processing what she’d said. “A baby? Why would you–? Without telling us?”

Scully purses her lips, keeping silent while he comes to terms with this announcement.

“It’s not—” he stammers, searching for the right words. “It’s not like… Emily… right?”

She huffs, despite knowing he means no offense by asking. But somehow, it still hurts to hear the detached way he questions her.

“No, just a regular adoption through an agency,” she says, working hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“By yourself?” he asks, emphasizing the words.

And here’s where things could go south very quickly.

She’ll just say it. Like ripping off a band-aid.

“With Mulder.”

It would be better, she thinks, if Bill would just jump straight into yelling at her, but instead she has to sit through at least thirty seconds of complete silence, the tension making her want to snap.

“With Mulder,” he finally repeats, the tone of his voice indiscernible.

Scully’s tongue peeks out and runs over her upper lip, a nervous tic she’s thus far been unable to quell. “Is there a problem with that?” she asks, testing him. Daring him to voice his disdain for the man she’s chosen to spend her life with.

Bill Jr. has never been one to back down from a challenge.

“What, are you trading off taking care of it like some class pet, Dana?”

And there’s the predictable moment where he pushes her over the edge. It was only a matter of time before he said something truly hurtful.

“Her name is Madeline, Bill,” she says forcefully, her voice raising an octave. “And actually, Mulder and I are living together. We’re raising her together, as partners.”

“As partners,” he scoffs. “What, he couldn’t at least make an honest woman out of you? I can’t believe Mom is supporting this—”

“If it matters that much to you, I’ll have you know that Mulder and I are, in fact, married,” she says, taking a tone of superiority that she usually reserves for embarrassing sexist law enforcement officers in Podunk, U.S.A. “But before you come flying across the country raring to fight, we only got married to make the process easier. You don’t have to worry about your poor defenseless sister falling to the whims of some quote-unquote ‘dangerous man.’”

“Dana,” Bill says, frustration and disappointment evident in his voice. “I just don’t understand you. You could have any man you want, someone who would give you a real family. Why would you settle for this– this… arrangement you have with your work partner?”

“Why can’t you just be happy for me, Bill? Why do I have to explain myself to you?”

“Is this what you were hiding at Christmas? Is this why he came along?”

Her deafening silence is all the answer he needs.

“I can’t believe this. My baby sister has a sham marriage…” he groans. “How could you let this happen, Dana? What are you going to do when he runs off to go search for aliens and leaves you?”

“Mulder has been the best father a kid could ask for,” Scully speaks angrily into the phone. It’s one thing for Bill to insult her, but the things he’s saying about Mulder are unacceptable.

“I hope that’s true,” he spits. “I hope for your sake, Dana, that you’re right. But I’m telling you right now, I don’t have much confidence in the guy. How can someone like that, with his head constantly in the clouds yelling that the sky is falling, ever be the father he needs to be? I just don’t see it. Why couldn’t you just find someone who loves you and settle down the normal way? Why?”

Scully’s pounding heart shatters, spilling all over the floor in tiny pieces and knocking the wind out of her.

“He does love me,” she gasps through tears, hoping that if she says it with enough conviction, it might be true. “He does.”

She’s not sure who she’s trying to convince now, her brother, or herself. Either way, it’s clear he detects the uncertainty in her voice, that nagging bit of doubt she can’t seem to shake. She imagines on his face the smug look of a slimy defense lawyer about to rest his case, knowing that he’s about to let a guilty man go free. Her stomach twists sickly.

“You sure about that?” Bill asks.

A gentle tap on her shoulder startles her out of her near panic attack, and she looks up to see Mulder standing there, an unreadable expression on his face. How long he’s been listening, she doesn’t know, but with tear-filled eyes, she feels vulnerable and hurt and just wants it to stop. He holds his hand out for the phone, and she releases it from her iron grip, handing it to him without a word.

His thumb immediately finds the end call button, and he tosses it on her bed without a second glance.

Crouching down to her level, he holds her gently in place by placing his hands on her arms, locking his eyes with hers with an intensity she’s rarely ever seen.

“I do love you,” he says, his voice low and sincere. “Don’t listen to him. I love you.”

His thumb brushes soothingly over the smooth underside of her elbow, and she finds she can’t look away. She’s too overwhelmed now to contain her tears, and she doesn’t have the strength to do so even if she tried. They spill forth like a river, and she holds fast to his words, afraid that if she lets go, she’ll be pulled under by the current.

“You do?” she asks, trembling under his grip as she searches his eyes for the truth.

He nods simply, his brows furrowed in worry at the state of her.

Desperately, and without a second thought, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him tightly. The position can’t be good for his knees, but he responds in kind, encircling her waist in the security of his arms.

“I love you too,” she gasps, hardly able to get the words out through the tightness constricting her throat, but she has to. He needs to know what she should have told him long ago.

His shoulders drop in relief, and she feels him bury his face in her neck and clutch her tighter, his hand moving up her back to entangle with the hair at the base of her neck.

“You’ve given me everything,” he murmurs into her skin, his voice breaking with honesty. “This family, Scully… I’ve wanted this with you for so long.”

She lets out a sob, grabbing at his shirt for purchase and refusing to let go. His Adam’s apple bobs against her shoulder, and she knows him well enough by now to know that he, too, is overcome with emotion.

He pulls back suddenly and his eyes meet hers, watery and clear, a direct window into the depths of his soul. For the first time, everything he feels is laid bare at her feet, and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he loves her. Every bit of her, just as she does him. And for the first time, she allows herself to believe it.

Under the weight of his undisguised adoration, she almost forgets how to breathe.

She has just enough time to draw one last shaky breath before he surges forward and kisses her, covering her mouth with his like a desperate man that has been dying of thirst in the desert. His lips are salty with tears—either hers or his, she can’t tell, but what’s the difference? He drops his knees to the ground, allowing him a little extra height and better stability so he doesn’t have to rely on her for balance quite as much.

They cling desperately to each other, here in this small bedroom in their apartment in Georgetown, and she realizes all at once that she has everything she could possibly want. His hand cups her cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly against her jaw as his lips move firmly and smoothly over hers.

This is it, the thing she’s scarcely allowed herself to hope for. Mulder—all of him. As a friend. As a partner. As a husband. Now, a lover.

Her family.

“Your brother’s an idiot,” he says into her mouth, startling a huff of a laugh out of her before he devotes himself entirely to the kiss, giving his utmost care and attention to the fullness of her bottom lip.

She smiles and pulls back just long enough to look at him, his shining, tear-filled eyes and radiant grin making her stomach do somersaults.

“Shut up, Mulder,” she says, cupping his face between her hands.

His fingers brush her tears away, leaving only happiness in their wake.

And she kisses him again.

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~~~

AHHH that's the end (except the epilogue) 🥲 I can hardly believe it. I'll have a longer author's note tomorrow with the last chapter, but for now, here's a drawing I spent WAY too long on (not an artist, but I tried)

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @calimanc @captainsolocide @clo-thespin @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @gillian-anderson-in-the-tardis @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @msrafterdark @numinousmysteries @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear

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